Tuesday, September 1, 2009

RTT: ABC, 123, PB&J...


Hey, hey, hey! As you can see from my alphabet soup, it must be the first day of school at the Monkey House. And as first days go, it started off pretty well. No whining about getting up early, no fussing about what was for breakfast, no nagging about getting ready on time. And the kids didn't do too bad either...

So now I'll hit you with some pearls of random wisdom, or at least some nuggets of random smart-assery, and go enjoy my day of FREEDOM!!

Pony Girl is supposed to be in charge of scooping horse poop during the summer, unless she is on a trip with her grandparents or sick, etc. She prefers to have her dad or I do it, or let it lie in the pasture as natural fertilizer. I went out one day last week when she had blown off her chore (again) and scooped up, and charged her ten cents a pile. That didn't bother her nearly as much as when she found out I had sub-contracted the wheelbarrow pushing part of the job to Jones and she would have to pay him a cool fifty cents.

Our fifteenth anniversary is coming up this month and we are going on a little trip. Where? No idea. S.P. has planned it, arranged it and is keeping it a secret. Which in this town means telling NO ONE until we get back. If he tells even one person I'd know about it within a week. It's driving his mom wiggy because she always likes to know all the details. He did tell me the mystery destination was within four hours of our house and there is a hot tub. All I have to do is pack and be ready to go. Sounds good to me!

My son thinks I'm Super Mom because I helped him create a new Lego bad guy out of some old mini-figure parts and a black sharpie. The new bad guy has an eye patch, a scar, and "wicked" zippers on his uniform. Had I known what my boy would value I would have majored in Legos instead of education...

While out shopping with the kids last week I saw a fabulous nightie for the abovementioned trip. Since there was a big sale it seemed like the perfect time to grab one, but of course I would have to try it on. Note to self: DO NOT attempt to try on nighties with children along! Jones wanted me to get the brown one because it was more sexier. Pony Girl said the black one definitely showed more boobs and would I save it for her to wear for her husband someday? OH GOOD GOLLY....the only thing more embarrassing than being IN the dressing room with them was coming out and seeing a man S.P. and I know waiting there for his wife. Having been LISTENING to the whole conversation while he was waiting. At least he didn't ask me if I was going to get the black one or the brown one.

At Keely's I saw a video for an, ahem, massager, that was modeled after a Twilight vampire. It made me think of an ad I had seen once for a kit where you can make a...massager that looks just like your favorite man's junk. When I had first seen the ad a year or so ago, my idea was to give the kit to S.P. as a romantic anniversary gift. But then, would that really be a gift for HIM or more of a gift for ME? Hmmm...

Well, somehow a post that started out relatively clean has wandered into smut again. Better go before the randomness gets raunchy....


  1. If I try on anything with Sprite around, she begins a three hour campaign of trying to poke at my breasts cuz she doesn't have them herself. Lucky little girl. She's in for a world of hurt once puberty hits.

  2. Ha ha I really fell laughing after reading this part,"...save it for her to wear for her husband someday" !

    Congrats and wishes for your upcoming anniversary!!

    ♥ Chaitra

  3. A massager in the form of a Twilight vampire? Oh, man, that's just taking the Twilight bit a little far . . .

  4. Get the kit for S.P.! I guarantee he'll get a great kick out of it!

  5. I *did* major in Legos. It was the only degree that didn't involve math.