Random Tuesday Thoughts: ...Oh Look, a Chicken!

Dum-te-dah! It's day of all days...Random Tuesday! And they be no one in this chair more random than me. Hey, did you ever see "National Lampoon's European Vacation"? You know, the scene where the Griswolds have 15 minutes to see the Louvre? That's me, today, trying to shepherd my second-graders through 10 classrooms full of science-fair experiments in one hour. My brains are gone.

So, AWAYYYY we go...

One of my own students was in a funk because he had no science experiment to display. Over lunch, less than one hour before the fair was to begin, he had a GREAT IDEA. And the water bottle volcano was born. Take one full water bottle, loosen the cap, and place in a large basin. Squeeze really hard until the cap (and water too) shoots into the air. Refill and repeat. And relocate experiment to the sink area. He was a big hit and got a green participant ribbon too. Rocked his whole day.

Last night I found an empty snail shell on the floor by the washer and dryer. Made me wonder if it was empty when it came in the house, or if it was carrying a passenger, traveling in some little boy's pocket and went through the wash. Note to self: check clothing for snail stains...

We had the ASB carnival at school last Friday, with fun games, dunk tank, and goodies including a bake sale and cake walk. Good times and we made a lot of money for field trips, but the big irony of the night: the family with the diabetic child won three cakes at the cake walk.

I can't wait until she leaves. I'm so tired of the attitude, the snotty looks, the angry back turned on me. Most of the time I'm just trying to take care of things she needs, but the lack of respect I get in return makes me wish she would just disappear. I can't believe a ten-year-old could be capable of such hatefulness, but it gets worse every day. And she's so pretty, too.... Hey, anybody wanna buy a horse?

Oh, that's all I got. When this job ends I may actually get to READ other people's blogs again...

Oh, My Achin' Ass..

What a day. On the field trip one of the kids in my group was feeling a little car (bus?) sick so I gave her a plastic bag for just in case. We made it all the way to the tide pools, then all the way back to the aquarium. I packed the bag into my backpack in preparation to get off the bus. As we were parking the bus, yes, sitting in the parking lot waiting to get off the bus, I felt a frantic whacking on my arm. Behind me the child is THROWING UP. I got the bag out and back under her face in time for the second wave but...damn.

And when we got back to school my sub for MY class had already escaped for the day. No note about how the day went, or how the kids were, or anything. So tomorrow I plan to just get them nice and quiet, look around, and say, "So, what do you want to tell me about yesterday?" And see if they have any guilty secrets to share. They must not have been fabulous or she would have left a glowing note....

Then for the big finish on my day, Pony Girl just came down the hall and said her teacher told them that anyone who doesn't participate in the science fair won't get a "4" on their report card for science. Well, hell. We got the notice about the science fair on the 8th, with an added note from the teacher that since they'd just finished a big project and the fair was the 19th, it was an optional thing. To me, basing a student's final grade on a project doesn't make it optional. I had to send her down the hall to her room so I could cuss this teacher out in style. We had a great idea for a project but with such a short time to do it she decided to wait and enter the fair next year. It's not the grade, because we know she has done well and will be proud of her work no matter what, but it just seemed like a bullshit trick.

Excuse the pissing and moaning. Maybe I need a little nap...

RTT: School May Not Be Out, But the Teacher Is...

It's late, but I shall be random anyway. Here we go.

My students love the bathroom. Maybe I should move my desk in there with them so I can get more teaching done. We could begin a study of tornados...

And whoever designed that restroom should get a big ol' swirly. The tiled floors and walls magnify any noise the kids make until it echoes down the hall. It should've come with padded walls and a white noise machine.

Our creative writing assignment was "How would you build a snowman?" I had some great stuff come in, lots of descriptive words and details like "with a striped hat" or "with coal for buttons". I had to laugh at "not with yellow snow".

Had two kids rush up to me in the middle of writing time wanting to tattle about something-or-other. (A twosome that LIVE to tattle..) They were both insisting that they would talk first. With a long line of kids needing help with their snowman stories, I said, "get a sheet of paper and write down everything you want to tell me. Then I'll read it after I help these kids." Funny thing, they were tattling about two TOTALLY DIFFERENT INCIDENTS!

We are having a healthy eating contest among the kindergarten, first and second grades. After lunch each day they report how many servings of fruits or vegetables each kid ate. At the end the class who wins gets a fruit salad party with the Healthy Strides teacher. Today one of the students reported eating a serving (1/2 cup) of sliced olives. Another reported a serving of pickle slices. After taking a drink of water to rehydrate my salt-puckered mouth, I told them those foods were too salty to be eaten in 1/2 cup portions and counted as "healthy choices".

Today we watched the Schoolhouse Rock cartoon about adjectives before starting the writing time. It was so cool to listen to the song and watch the kids enjoy the animation. Maybe tomorrow I should review verbs, just so we can watch that one. "Verb, that's what's happening.."

That's all I got. Now I correct the papers.

The Resume Says TEACHER, Not Tree Removal Specialist...

It's been a long and busy week. Taking one-day-at-a-time sub jobs can be like eating Bertie Bott's Every Flavor Beans; you don't know what exactly they'll be like or if you'll like them much once you've got 'em, but they are always an adventure. Good ones leave a lingering pleasantness, and the bad ones kind of disappear after you get done gagging. Having a long-term job can be better because the flavor's always the same, but if it's a flavor you don't like much after the first day you can't spit it out till the job's done. Sometimes the flavor grows on you, other times you just paste on a smile and gut it out. Like sucking one of those sour warhead candies Jones likes. This week I've had both kinds of beans. Monday was earwax. Yesterday was more like watermelon, with a brief appearance by sardine around lunchtime. Next week we shoot for chocolate truffle...

Anyway, today I was catching up on laundry, ironing, some computer time, and just general vegetating. S.P. came in to ask for some help with a project. An easy project, he said. Just sit in the truck and back it up when he said to. Aha. What's the catch?

"Well, I'm felling that dead tree and want to drop it without hitting the pumphouse."

As you can see, I didn't come near the pumphouse. Busted hell out of the corral fence though. Never ask a teacher to do a logger's job...