Santa Gave Me Salmonella!

With all the uproar about tainted peanut products and things being recalled and pulled from shelves, S.P. and his crew decided to print a full list at the pharmacy yesterday of all the affected products. He noticed that PetSmart was pulling some of their pet food items, which was something we hadn't really thought about. Of course we checked our pantry for foods that would make us sick, but didn't even consider all the treats we buy for Lilly that contain peanut butter.

Like the big bag of doggie treats Santa brought that had a fat ol' layer of cute peanut-shaped cookies near the bottom...

Now, the disclaimer. I AM NOT BLAMING PETSMART FOR WHAT HAPPENED IN THE STORY I'M GOING TO TELL, NOR AM I SAYING THE CUTE PEANUT DOG COOKIES ARE TAINTED WITH SALMONELLA. I don't even know what happens if dogs are exposed to salmonella. But, if you read the little sidebar about our family you have a preview of what's coming up. Don't read on if you think poop is gross.

Story opens first thing in the morning with me on the couch, S.P. in the kitchen. It's quiet, the dog is already out, and I hear Jones coming down the hall. He pats my arm and says, "Momma, there's something in the bathroom." Something? "Something bad."

Hmm. "Did you do it?" No. "Did Pony Girl do it?" He doesn't think so. S.P. is curious at this point and goes to investigate. "OH SH*T!!" Wow, must be bad. I start to get off the couch and here he comes. What is it, I ask. "Whaddya mean, didn't you hear? It's SH*T! I think the dog exploded."

Then he gets the fireplace shovel and heads back to the bathroom. Dang, must be bad. He comes into the kitchen for a trashbag and paper towels. "Hey, will somebody come hold the trashbag?" Jones and I look at each other. He's been the Trash Man on the chore chart for a couple of years and is quite proud of the title. I say, "looks like a job for Trash Man!" Uh-uh, he says, not when there's turds.

O.K., I can hold the bag. When the door opens and I see the bathroom floor my first thought is, "what could be worse?" Then I smell the smell. Oh, I can't hold the bag; not even sure I can hold down my coffee. S.P. tells me to go away because he doesn't want to clean up barf too, but would I throw in a new roll of Clorox wipes?

Pony Girl gets up, looks in, and decides that either the toilet has overflowed or her brother has, and can she use our bathroom? Later as S.P comes through with a disgusting trashbag I hear him say "any day that starts with scooping crap out of the bathroom with the fireplace shovel is destined to be a bad day..."

Then a few days later, another mess on the bathroom rug. We can't say yes, it is directly because of these treats, but it's the only thing different in her diet so we are chucking them out and maybe the yuck will stop. Because if that happens when S.P. is at work I'm pulling out the shop vac.

Anyway, check out your pet treats as well as your people treats. There may be nothing wrong with them, but wasting a little money might be better than finding "Something Bad" in your bathroom. Or on your best carpet.