Thursday, March 12, 2009

Apparently I'm Not Smart Enough To Be A Sexpot

I was reading the weekly paper yesterday afternoon and an item in the police blotter caught my eye. It was about a minor female at the high school who was caught with pornographic photos on her cell phone. Further investigation revealed that the photos were of herself and she was texting them to a boy she liked. While I was appalled at the decay of the moral fiber of our youth, at the same time I was intrigued as to how I could use technology to give my own love life a little bump.

Our previous cell phones were bare-bones, just for making the occasional call or a game of pinball while stuck at the doctor's office. But last time S.P. came home with camera phones, saying, "Well honey, it's hard to get a plain old phone anymore.." I took a pic or two with it but never really used it for a camera. Till last night. Ooh-la-la, hot and sexy me was gonna wow that guy on his way home from work. I didn't get nasty, just a little cheeky, and sent it off. I figured as soon as S.P saw it he'd give me a call. No call. But when he got home he'd give me a grab, for sure. No grab. Maybe photo messages take longer? Well, for sure he'd see it on his travels to or from the pool. Nothin'... By bedtime I was starting to wonder, just WHO did I send that picture TO?

This morning he said he had to hit the lumberyard to get stuff for the new floor. Aha, I thought, surely by now that message will have come in, and he'll see it. No comment when he arrived back. Not even a smirk. So I asked "Did you get my message?" Sure did, he said, the 7-up for Jones is in the truck. Not that message, the OTHER message! "Did you send another message?"

Well, hell, I sent SOMEBODY a message.... let's see, who is above and below him on my contact list? Oh, just the boy scout den leader, and my in-laws... fabulous. "Are you sure the message sent, honey? What was it, anyway?" Oh, nothin'...just a picture of my nekkid bumcheeks framed in some trashy panties...

But looky here...there's something in my outbox...thank you, Lord (is it o.k. to thank God when your semi-pornographic text message didn't send?)

So, should I be more embarrassed that I tried to send my husband a smutty photo on my cell phone or that I wasn't tech-savvy enough to get the job done?


  1. Um...I'm sure he appreciated the effort either way ;)

  2. Ha, I wouldn't be embarrassed at all, just thankful that you didn't send it to the wrong person.

    I'm not sure what's up with kids these days (I really just used the phrase kids these days, help me), but they're getting sluttier by the minute.

    Good luck with the soft pr0n texting... you'll get the hang of it eventually.

  3. OH thats funny!!!

    Poor you, you must have been beside yourself!!

    Try again, cause I am sure it will spice things up a bit, and cant we all use some more spice!


  4. Hi,M. That is not only hilarious, but it something I would also do.Bless you, I can't stop laughing. (with you of course!)
    Poor girl. He,he,xx

  5. Heehee... I so identify with this!

    Whenever I go past PG on my phone, I check and double-check (and triple-check!) that I'm sending it to hubby. The kids' names are right by his in my address book.