Tuesday, August 4, 2009

RTT: There Seems to Be More Sex In This Post Than Usual...


Wow, Tuesday again. It's been weeks since I've been in the RTT open swim. And how do you make an excuse for no post on Random Tuesday? That's like saying "I couldn't attend the Nudist's Ball because I had nothing to wear." Tuesday is the day where you string it together, throw it out, and be not ashamed. Kind of like when a toddler learns to dress herself. So, here we go...

My mom and I are going salmon fishing next week. It's become our August tradition and we have a ball. We always get on a boat with some real die-hard sportsmen-type guys who snicker at our pink ball caps and gloves; the ones who are certain they will have to catch fish for "the little ladies" as well as their own. Every year one of us gets the first fish, and it's always a nice one. Those guys' mouths flop open just like the fish and it's truly priceless. Maybe the fish favor us local folk?

We were dog-sitting for my folks this weekend, for their ancient lab/mastiff mix. My friend came over with the kids and told me about her search for a male lab to breed with her female. She admired old Bear and asked if he was fixed, which he is. After a few minutes of watching him amble around the yard before climbing the stairs V-E-R-Y slowly, she said, "You know, even if he wasn't fixed, I think he'd need a Viagra...for his whole body."

For the past three years or so our school has had the policy of "all parent requests for teachers will be honored". In the spring it was announced that this was no longer the policy and staff should spread the word. Lots of parents, grandparents, and interested parties tried to make end-runs and plead special cases, but it would seem that the edict held firm. The announcement was made "lists will be posted August 3", which became "the first week in August". Yesterday there was a veritable parade of cars in the parking lot circling past the doors. No lists. My guess is the principal is going to post them on Friday afternoon then run like hell. And not answer his phone till Monday.

You know that you are getting old when...there is some romantic snuggling going on, and then the pleasant warming sensation turns into a burning sensation. Holy crap you say, what kind of "personal warming gel" is that?! No, sorry, it's not hot romance, it's your lover rubbing his sore muscles with "Icy Hot" before bed and then getting frisky...

The Boob Fairy has already visited some of Pony Girl's friends. I was surprised to see some of them after a few months of summer vacation, looking so, ah, DIFFERENT. She had some thoughts on the subject:

"When your boobs arrive is when you start wearing make-up to dinner and important family events."

"Your make-up enhances your boobs."

I was unaware of the link between boobs and make-up. If make-up truly had such an effect on boobs, Tammy Faye should have needed a wheelbarrow to tote hers around in. And I went through an eyeshadow fetish in my senior year that should have left me with double-D's, at least..

Well, that's all I got for now. Better save some random for later, when my husband comes home and says, "So , honey, what did you do all day?"


  1. I had so much to say. But now all I can say is...
    OMG! Icy Hot! OUCH!!!

  2. fun RTT - love the make-up comments

  3. My kids' schools have never allowed teacher requests. That - allowing requests - is asking for trouble, it seems to me.

    I love Icy Hot. I used to dance and I became addicted to it when I was like, ten or so. It does wonders.

    I have never had a visit from the Boob Fairy. I think she lost my address.

  4. LMAO about the Icy Hot, sooo been there.
    Not lookin forward to the boob fairy in this house she was way to kind to me (or maybe I pissed her off? Who knows?). Hoping she's a little less generous with Meg. ~wink~

  5. Boob fairy has decided to be extra kind to me. And I have stopped wearing make up because of that :)

    ♥ Chaitra

  6. Icy Hot! Damn, that is NOT a good thing to get within three feet of your genitals. No, not at all.

  7. Youch on the Icy Hot. Your post had lube, viagra and boobs in it today, you're going to get all the good Google searches.

  8. OH ya'll, there is an actual SONG about the Boob Fairy on YouTube! I couldn't believe it was true till I watched the while thing...

  9. Icy Hot? Uh, yeah. BTDT. :)

    Does blue eye shadow enhance the boobage extra? I mean, the 80's blue. Not the wimpy blue you see nowadays.

  10. What in the name of good fortune happened to me? I don't even USE makeup (lest I look like a clown, I am no good at makeup at all) and all I want for Christmas is a reduction ...